When Tech Fails Us

Well, it finally happened!  My computer went down and stayed down.  It had been misbehaving since July 2014 when I inadvertently contacted a malware site posing as a contact for my printer, when it began behaving erratically (the printer, not the computer!).  Thinking I had contact my printers support site directly, I allowed the tech to join me on my computer to make the adjustments needed.  Before I knew it, he was disabling my Security Setting and programs and when I told him no, he quickly did some other things and by the time I shut down him and the join in, he had added a virus to my computer and began demanding $120 to 'make repairs'.  I know, I know....I never knew that you could invite trouble in like that!

By the time I got to undoing all the changes he had made, I knew I could not undo, redo and fix all that he had done in the space of literally 1 minute.  It was all down hill as I slowly slipped off the cliff to losing my data and then to a blank screen unable to reboot, unable to get to my beloved internet, unable to locate my precious pictures of my work done on the house!  I could barely breathe!  I was left with no option but a full reset and the computer refused to allow any savings of files, data, pictures, documents, etc.  Luckily, the full reset at least allowed me back into my computer, able to now work without the brain numbing freezes, lockups, shutdowns and what nots.  Also all my tenderly changed settings now at point zero and all having to be loaded again, one by one.  But just a few short minutes ago, I found some of what I thought were lost photos on my android tablet!  Thank goodness for that!  At least some were there.  Enough I feel better!

But it did get me to thinking, all those many reminders of "You should make a System Restore Now" and I would click ignore and move on.  When I started to realize I better do it now, I had to go to the store to get a special DVD+R, as all the other DVD's, CD's and stuff I had were not working.  But alas, I was too late.  By the time I got it, and returned home, my computer had decided I must be punished for my lapse and refused to allow any restore/saving to happen!  My window was closed!
Was I the only one facing a fate worse than death?  Was I the only one not running to the store at the first reminder sent so many years ago?  Or that had been offered just a few days ago?  Probably not, but I sure was the sorriest!  So for all you procrastinators out there, yes, today is the day to do it!  Run, do not walk, to the electronics section of your favorite department store and get the proper DVD you need to make the restore disk!  Do not wait to be the poster girl for all things lost!  You may think there isn't that much to lose, but I assure you, those pictures and videos of your precious furbaby, newborn, first brand new car EVER and pictures of Nana BEFORE the stroke, will seem quite precious when you can no longer find them!  Just saying!

The porch spillith over.....

My porch was becoming a catchall for all the construction going on.  Piles of tile waiting to be put down, old windows for a Pinterest project, various tools, clutter, junk and mess!  It had become not only a dumping ground, but an eyesore!  My neighbors began giving me dirty looks!  What used to be a showplace, had turned into just another hoarded mess!  I decided, I have to do something.  I got one of my nieces and a friend to come and help me.

It was really hard work, carting off the wood, the windows, the junk and either tossing or putting where it belonged.  It went fast though, with all the help.  The real dirty work was still to come.  Cleaning and wiping off road grime (I live right off a main road to the local High School) and sorting.  I'm going to show you some pictures from years ago, then it clean and nice like a magazine, then a hoarded mess, then clean AGAIN!

Right after I moved in.

Front porch freshly painted!

As I began the long journey towards restoring this old gem!

Cleaned, freshly painted, looks like a magazine eh?

My pretty flowers!

A little welcome display!

As you can see, I did so well with it, but sadly, the painted porch began to come off almost immediately, as other work came and went, it fell into a sad state of affairs, and here I am 10 years later, cleaning up another mess, trying to restore order as we move through yet more renovations!

Oppsss...I did it again!

Cleaned up AGAIN!

A sweet place to sit in the summer time evenings with a glass of wine!

Only an afternoon of 90 degree heat!

And don't be stingy with that wine either!

Soft glow of candles!

So there is a continuing theme here.  But the mess from rehabbing is starting to wear thin on my nerves!  I call this place Chez Shifting Sands, as the furniture shifts from room to room, as I push into the next project, then the next!  Sometimes, it just feels as if it will never end, but each change has brought its own pleasures once done.  And, sadly, once done, I have a hard time remembering how unattractive it was before, because each change has suited it so well.  EXCEPT the junk, the dust, the mess!  LOL!

So any thoughts?  Ideas?  Horror stories?  Pictures of your journey through this process?

Bag it! Tag it! Set it to the curb!

Another week has passed with not a lot of progress on the office/library, but then, my life has been a whirlwind!  One of my former fosters Granny came to the house late Monday night to tell me that Renee was in the hospital with a stroke after being released earlier that day.  She had been in and out of the hospital since giving birth October 23 to her 4th child and first girl, Gwendolyn.  Her heart was only working at 15% capacity and now her brain was working at 1/3 capacity.  It was heartbreaking!

I was in limbo, unable to think, I tried to work.  But the calls kept coming and the news kept getting worse.  My niece and her had been BFF's since both of them lived in my home at about the same time.  They had confided in each other about boyfriends, drama, stuff they hide from the old lady (me!).  It was a rough ride, as my niece was a bit buck wild and bound and determined to not follow the rules, and Renee was a willing follower.  But that was years ago, they had remained friends through boyfriends, trouble, kids, marriage and so on.  Now both married and pregnant, only 2 months apart and both expecting girls and an outcome no one saw coming!

All that aside for now, trying to get back into the groove, trying to push through, so trying to make up for lost time and trudging through to get back on track.  Slow as it has been, I did make a little progress, but in small baby steps.  This weekend, I have made a super effort to try and get through the last of the boxes.  Its getting much harder I think, because now less paper work is being shredded and more is being saved.  And I have also started to go through some of the files I made and shredding a few more things too, that really are not needed!

But today, I got through 4 bags of trash, although, by the looks of the remaining pile, it seems like only 2 small boxes went away!  How could that be?  It seems there is more room, but this pile doesn't seem to be diminishing at any great rate of speed!  Granted, this week was full of drama, tragedy and triumph, but not so different than other weeks, minus the life and death situation.  Sill, it is progress, even at my turtle speed!  I am ready for trash day and its only Sunday!

So here's my pictures for the week, and I guess I can include the befores, it seems to remind me that there has been more progress than I might have appreciated otherwise!

Bagged and tagged!

The little rattan ottoman also has storage, I keep a throw in there.  The rug got 'piddled' on my my Italian Greyhound Echo, and once washed, would not sit flat, so I replaced it with another in the same color scheme that's a rectangle.  Looks better actually, I think!

I have started filling the drawers with office supplies like notepads, note cards, glue, pens, pencils, etc.  Very convenient and stylish I think.

And this is the Hell it sprouted from below, tell me what you think!

The chaotic, hot mess!

Backed into a corner

My binder trouble seems to have me in a pickle here.  I have been trying for several days to conquer it, and some how the project has turned into an enormous under taking.  I tried breaking it down into smaller steps, but the steps keep getting bigger too!  Not to be undone, I have persisted and managed to get a large cedar chest removed, along with several smaller drawer cases and another ton of paper filled boxes.  Just when I thought I was winding down from the enormous paper purge, I have another bundle that awaits shredding, sorting and filing.  This is also, in addition to the pile waiting in the dining room (my last attempt was trying to do this in the dining room, so there is still more boxes in there!).

I have yet to truly tackle the binder bind I have gotten into.  Now normally, this is about the spot where I would say this is too much, I can't do it, it's not going to happen, I have failed, AGAIN!  But I am bound and determined that I shall push through and I feel it is important to continue on, even if reduced to less than baby steps.  Am I going to have to go HALF-SISES on you?  I think I may, in order to continue on, break this bad boy down.  The thoughts that are flooding in are really my old tapes playing, previous failures trying to make another one for me!

So I need to give myself a pep talk, I can do this, just smaller bites of the elephant to 'git 'er done!  After all, this did not happen overnight, it was done one layer at a time and will just require more time to excavate out from under this.  For some reason, I keep coming back to chastising myself and feeling out of control.  But that is not reality, its a feeling.  I believe I am doing what I would say to the kids when ever they started to have success, they would self sabotage!  Because they knew what failure looked like, felt like, but they did not know what success was.  So when it would happen, they would get so uncomfortable, they would sabotage themselves!  We would have lots of talks, prop them up, encourage, praise, celebrate every little step till they made it.

So why can't I cheer lead myself?  I am good at doing this for others, but lousy for myself!  I feel like that character from Saturday Night Live Stuart Smalley's Daily Affirmations.  "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me!"  It used to make me howl, it was hilarious!  So I guess I will have to do a little propping, a little praising, a little celebrating and just try and get comfortable with letting go of things and getting on top of this!  But this part is not emotional clutter, this is different!  But this should be easier, but its the low level of progress that I keep hounding myself about, so I am going to stop that!

Sometimes, there are pauses, it may seem like nothing is happening, but it is.  Just not like fireworks noticeable, but subtle!  And I have to be content with that.  So I am going to regroup and carry on!  Because the bottom line is, I really do like walking through my office with the stacks being knocked over,  I really like being able to find thing quickly!  I really like sitting at my desk and paying a bill and filing it!  I like that I am not wasting 2 hours trying to find the bill I set down some where so I could pay it, or worse, forgetting about it, because it wasn't on my radar any more!  It is definitely getting better as I go!  And for that, I am grateful!

So even though it seems I have backed myself into the corner, it is just one more of many corners I have to turn in the days ahead, but lets just keep focused on this one and not worry about all the others!  I don't need to worry about those corners, just this one!  And one corner that is done, is ever so pretty and functional.  I have my little fireplace, my lamp, a little Christmas tree and a chair to read, think and drink my cappuccino.  That is huge!  And I do not have to worry about stacks of boxes falling on me, or boxes of paper going up in flames, no, its very sweet and cozy and safe!  That is what one corner did for me!

Now with that said, has anybody else attempted this?  Have you run into problems trying to clear the hoard?  Trying to get on top of your clutter?  Have you pushed through any setbacks?  If so, how did you handle it?  I would love to hear from anybody reading this, just any words you may have that would help, advice, warnings, etc.  Anybody?  Is this thing on?  So take a look with me at how far I have come!  I have made progress, haven't I?

Before fireplace corner

After fireplace corner

Before messy desk

Cleaner desk

Cluttered corner

Corner cleared

Its out, then thin the herd, back in.....

Yesterday was a long working day, and there was no energy to clean anything or do anything more than straighten my space.  I have the weekend to make up for my lapse!  So the dreaded task of the binders is on my kill list!  But since my niece and her boyfriend are coming over, I shall wait until the visit is concluded to rip all the stuff out of the cabinet and go through it.  Luckily, earlier in my process, I started assembling the information and documents to go in my binders and even sleeved a few with the plastic pouches from other stuff being trashed!

The thing that I realized is, this is going to be one that will make my now some what ordered office, into chaos and mayhem!  So once I start, I will have to finish!  I have made a check list of items to looks for, assemble and a list of binders that should contain the majority of it!  My hutch is to become the information hub of my office, with info literally, at my finger tips!  So this run of things will hopefully go smoothly and with little stress!

My plan is to not go to bed with a mess on my hands!  Nothing seems to put me off as much as starting with a mess.  I like getting up, making my bed, making some cappuccino, emptying the dishwasher, letting the dogs out and feeding them, making a little gnosh, putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and having a moment at my computer or the fireplace.  Its a habit I am developing and liking very much!  I am slowly getting into this groove.  Starting behind the eight-ball makes me feel over whelmed.  But even if it happens, I try not to stress, just move on through and do SOMETHING!  

So does anyone ever done this before?  Have you ever assembled needed medical, job/work history, documents, etc for needed retrieval?  Anything that made it easier?  Harder?  I have done this before, but not so much for me, as for the foster kids.  It seemed we had so much to do, I was forced to be more organized and to have these systems in place.  I never noticed any of the other foster parents having these, but then, perhaps, they weren't as disorganized as myself!

I may have even gone a little over board, as I had an intake sheet, with what ever information I would get initially, habits, no contacts, contacts, court appearances, runaway, ward of court, etc.  Then I would start to assembled a folder for them.  It contained a calendar for all their appointments which would then be transferred to the ones in the hallway, so we could all be on the same page.  The kids all knew their schedules, my schedule, and the other kids schedules.  My workers said the kids liked knowing upcoming events and when one of us might be stressing a little more or less.  It gave them hope, and it also helped them ramp up for possible draining days.

I used that to also see when one of my kids might need some extra time in my office, just talking, hanging out and I always tried to prep them a bit and ask open ended questions to see where they were at mentally and physically.  It helped them learn how to express them selves, and also that we all needed regular care.  One time one of them asked why my stuff was on the boards, and I used it as a living skills opportunity.

I said, "You know how I am always saying you need to care for yourself first....you know like when you go on a plane and the stewards tell you if the masks drop out, that Mothers need to FIRST put theirs on, before their children!  Do you know why that is?"  no...."Because the Mother is the caretaker of the child!  If she doesn't take care for herself, she is of no use to the child and the child may not survive if the Mother doesn't!  If she puts it on the child first, she may not have enough time to now take care of herself, and the child will not be able to save the Mother, BUT the Mother can save the child if she has put her mask on first!"  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......OHHHHHHHH.....

So this would click with them.  They got it.  We needed to care for ourselves FIRST, so we could be in a better position to care for others!  If we neglect ourselves, then we fall into disrepair, disorder, chaos and risk our safety, health and well being for others in our care.  So in essence, this is really a self care process!  This whole thing of having order in my life, my surroundings and my 'families'.  Its for my benefit as well as others.  I can barely help myself, with so much mess surrounding me, so I must 'help myself' in order to get back to helping others!

So, as I was saying, I needed help with get some things out of here, so I could get to the next steps.  Here it is, in all its glory, before, during and afters for one much needed space!

The worst of the worst!

Have to dig out from the piles!

I see a clear surface!

I had help getting the cedar chest removed and placed where it will do the most good, my guest bedroom!  As you can see, the binders, some from the kids, some from ones I had already started and also some that will need to go!

This took most of my afternoon, just emptying the cedar chest, getting it out of the office and up the stairs, and then moving all the linens upstairs for a major sorting (later of course!).  But now I can see the job ahead of me, is perhaps greater than I first planned.  But that is okay!  There are going to be little hiccups along the way  If you are really careful, you can see my binder for the HTCI (The House That Cleans Itself).  Yes, I even hoard cleaning and organizing books!

To be honest, each one has taught me a little something about getting out from under it, but there has always been that spot of getting through things, once overwhelmed.  What is different this time?  I am not sure anything is really different, I just am not giving up.  Just doing baby steps and when I am writing here, I can look with a less jaded eye at what it really looks like.  When I look at the pictures, I am even more shocked at how much junk there is, how much disorder there is, how much is too much stuff?  It's an awareness of how much I have gotten myself in this pickle, but better than that self loathing, there is also a visual plus of seeing the changes!  This is a big help to me!  It really is, because I can see where I have come from and also how much I am accomplishing.  

Its important to see that, too!  I do tend to try and not see it as I walk through the house, I try and pretend it's all done, or 'one day' syndrome!  And now I can look and see, 'that was last week' 'this is today'.  More baby steps!

So any comments?  Ideas?  Progress of yours?  Have you been down this road too?  I really would love to talk to others either going through this, thinking of doing it, or that have done it already!  I think we can draw from each others strengths and help each other with encouragement when needed!  What do you think?

Time for a little tweaking and some fun!

Today was another gray day, feeling spent from the excitement of yesterday, and glad my brother is going to be okay!  Also, have been struggling with continuing on and finishing the paperwork portion of this excavation!  I decided to tweak my space a bit and try and get a little holiday cheer in here, since it is not likely I will get the living cleared before New Years (there is still hope, but probably not realistic!).  So to ward off the blues and get re-energized, I decided I needed to mix it up a bit.

I went upstairs and dragged the little Tippy/Charlie Brown tree from years ago, laying unloved in the craft room after removing all the Tippy treats from it, like 4 years ago.  I went outside to the patio and retrieved a metal container to shabby chic it up, cleaned it and brought it inside along with a slab of marble left over from the Butlers Pantry Project.  I had two small stacked drawers that were taking up space, and in line to inherit some of the office supplies that I laid the marble on, after a good cleaning.

A little decorating did my little heart good!  I am feeling better about my little all purpose room becoming magical and inspiring as a home office/sitting room/library!  I find myself enjoying each step a little more now!

Tonight, I plan on going through the binders in my hutch and seeing what order I may be able to bring before bedtime, along with those I put on a book shelf.  The binders I am keeping will be the one of important documents (SS card, Birth certificates, marriage licence, etc) medical binder for the two Italian Greyhounds, a medical binder for me, and so on!).  Anything that might be needed at a moments notice, and also close at hand in the hutch on my desk!

A little Christmas cheer!

Pine Cone Christmas tree, perfect for by the fireplace!

The mess-My sad beginnings.

Another day, more progress.

Much more functional-still a work in progress!  But much, much better!

Anybody else struggling with this?  Any tips, tricks or ideas?  It seems so hard to be in this all alone, I know I am not, but I have found a few boards and fellow strugglers online.  We don't call ourselves hoarders, but we do post our before and afters of our accomplishments.  A very encouraging way to move through the mess!  One thing I am glad for, if that's possible to be glad for in this, is that, for all the mess, the true filth seems to be limited to dust, dirt and grime.  Although, in my kitchen, I have to admit, something is fouling the air, but I cannot locate it.  I believe its an onion that escaped.  But usually, anything that's edible, the dogs get.  Still have to sweep, but rarely is anything but dust and fur swept up!  Still, I'm thinking THEY ARE NOT GOING TO EAT A LOOSE ONION!  Lol!

Desk Mess

My messy desk!

My messy office/desk area!

First, I clean off the top of all its clutter, dusted, wiped and put only items I want there!

The fronts are now stripped of their graffiti and paper clutter!  Sadly, I have not got to the insides, YET!

My much better looking and functioning desk area!

So now you see the area I call home when surfing the net, paying bills, filing and so on.  Can you see how I have come to such a state I could not function efficiently anymore?  Yeah, me too!  I still have the insides of the cabinet to do and the insides of my desk, but progress continues!  Baby steps!

So now begins the phase of rebuilding from the chaos here.  I have assembled binders for my important documents, my Master Gardeners Programs, my Medical Coding binders, etc.  Now I need probably about 2 hours to clean out the inside and restore order, so that all my needed info is at my finger tips and easily accessible!

If you look closely, you will also see 3 drawers on the hutch and they are full of various junk too!  So my plan is to give this valuable real estate good use.  That is still a work in progress.  I am thinking my small note pads (always looking for one!), pens and pencils maybe?  They are nice sized drawers, but shallow, so they do not hold a ton, but for making my life easier, I'm thinking that would work!

I shall ponder that for a bit and come up with a working solution for my problem area!

But for now, it is giving me a break from the last piles of papers and junk I have been going through.  For some reason, I have stalled and become resistant to continuing, except on a very limited basis.  I think I pushed through a little too hard, and too long and have just burned out to it!  Plus, we have had some serious medical things happening with some family members and I have devoted only 15 minutes each day and no more!

One of my foster children delivered her second child, a bouncing baby 9lbs 10 oz 21 inch boy!  And my brother was in the hospital ER with what he suspected was a stroke, but turned out to be Bells Palsy.  Just my lame excuses, but hey!  I'm still doing my 15 minutes!  All are doing fine, thank goodness! 

So anybody have any ideas to help me here?  Any thoughts?  Ideas?  Strategies?

Top shelf

The progress has slowed to a bit of a crawl, but that's okay.  As you can see from the photos below, my desk is a mess!  Tonight I decided to clear the top the very cluttered hutch.  Yup!  My goals are getting smaller now!  Anyways, I cleared off all the junk piled up there!  Records of the dogs, medication, a halogen light, boxes of pure junk and a vintage Rolodex.  I got out my ladder and dust began to rain down on me!  I got a damp rag and wiped to top, enough dust to make a whole grown bunny out of!  I wiped down the lamp, used the vacuum cleaner to get all the cobwebs off the walls.  Then I placed a locked little antique chest, the now cleaned vintage Rolodex, and a sewing box my Father (now passed) made for me as a child.  Much nicer!

Tomorrow, I am going to try and reduce all the visual clutter tucked into the edges between the glass and the doors that has become the equivalent of the kitchen fridge!  I am also making a new habit, each evening, before calling it quits for the night, I straighten up whatever new mess I have made, in what I have already finished, so that it stays clean.  So not only am I maintaining the spaces already claimed from the brink, I find a new one, however small, to work on next!

Messy, messy desk!

The now cleaned top of the hutch on my desk!

I feel much better, even though it is going slower, I am not getting over whelmed and I am not feeling like I am failing!  Just another baby step!  And I am enjoying my little fire place IMMENSELY!  It's such a sweet spot to sit, read, have my cappuccino and have company,  I am making notes of what needs to go, and hoping, maybe this weekend I can get some help with getting the massive cedar chest out of here!  But that's for another day!

Taming the paper clutter

The paper clutter seems to just keep coming.  Even though I have shredded literally boxes of paper into bags of trash, I still have plenty more to go through, but I have reached a stage of exhaustion with it!  So I am working on some other, more interesting things, like cleaning the floors.  I have tried various products to remove stains, scuffs, rust and just stuff I do not even know what it is.  Along the way, I have scrubbed baseboards, the walls, and even put up a curtain rod and curtain last night, just to give it a fresher look and feel on the windows.
I have also focused on removing as many pieces of furniture and items as I can (the living room is a problem right now, until some items are sold and picked up!).  But still, it is progress!  Also, I have started to think about items of furniture best put in the office to hold supplies, and that offer plenty of storage.
This has led to a freeing of space and spirit, and brought some more, much needed calm to the chaos!  Still, today, I find myself a bit discouraged and pissy, because it seems to be taking so long to transform, even this small space.  I think I need to work on some fun things today, and maybe just try and be patient!  This is where it is easy to get derailed, and I really do not want to give up!  It feels good to have some reclaimed space!
Now for a little insight into what I have been doing and using to help with the paper clutter!  I have a rolling filing cart that I purchased years ago.  It glides easily, holds legal and regular file folders.  Right now, I have a makeshift shelf on the bottom of it to hold things, as they collect.  I plan on having one made to fit by my helper friend Rick, along with additional shelves for some of my bookcases.  But for now, it works perfectly as I sort, shred and file.  Its easy glide wheels make it easy to pull where ever I need it and tucks in under the window and to the back, so I can swivel in my chair and immediately file papers from my desk when I am done with them!

As you can see, it holds letter and legal size folders, and the makeshift shelf on the bottom is a holding area, for now.

If you take a look, you can see the floor mat for my chair and the now cleaned floor tiles and baseboards.  Once I get them all as clean as I can, I will wax them and that should help make it look as good as it can, until I can dig up another boatload of money!  These tiles are in better shape than the ones in my bedroom, which are the same, but lots of broken and missing tiles!  Not pretty!  But will have to do for now!

The window with a beautiful blue and white flower pattern that matches one of the vases.  Not perfection, but getting there!  The curtain was $1.99 at Salvation Army and I washed it and dried it and hung it on brackets I got from there also for $1.99 and the curtain Rod came from Ollies and was $4.99.  I am well under $50 for my redo!

So progress is being made, and just to prove it, I will show another before and after section, so you can play along with me!

Before

After

Want to see another section?  Might not be quite as glamorous, but it shows movement!

Piles and piles of paper!

Not complete, but still, a better feeling than when I started!

I could use a little inspiration.  Any body else struggling with this?  Any tips?  Ideas?  Transformations?  I would love to talk to others going through this, or have been through this, or those trying to dig out.  I think maybe we can help one another and have a little support and encouragement from one another.  After all, this can be a very lonely and isolating problem!
Hope every one is having a wonderful day!

Another day, another box

So things have been progressing, a box at a time now.  I have made considerable headway on the office, enough to show a few pictures of the progress so far.  Be gentle, I am still struggling!
I am now able to enjoy sitting by my little fireplace, safely, and have a cappuccino in the morning and decide what to do next, or even read a little bit.
I have decided on a few things that can come in and a few things to go out.  The things coming in include a container for my unread magazines, a small table for my magazine and cappuccino to sit on, and perhaps a SMALL ottoman.  The things that are going is a large cedar hope chest, filled with linens, a bookcase that I will swap out for a mortgage locker (it has all kinds of cubbies to hold my many office supplies , and the bookcase is thin enough to go in my kitchen to hold my spice....another area trouble spot!) and my large leather ottoman is going in the living room, where it belongs.  There is also a craftsman bookcase with glass doors that needs to go also.
Yes, still a work in progress, but at least its progress and not regress!  I have also come to realize, I can't be perfect.  It seems whenever I start to feel as if I am not attaining some sort of perfection, I start to lose heart, and that in turn seems to add to a feeling of being paralyzed.  Why?  I do not know.  It may go back to when I was younger, I always felt the need to be perfect, to get perfect grades, to do some project perfectly and if it wasn't, or I wasn't I wouldn't want to do it anymore.  But that seems silly when I actually say it.  Its something I wouldn't let any of the kids say about doing or not doing something.  I would say "Do your best and that is good enough!"  Not "do it good enough, not your best!"  So I know there is some perfectionism going on, maybe a little OCD, and then the feeling its not perfect, so why bother?!  Just silly, I know.  But it does 'catch' me.  Pushing through and just trying to do my best, whatever that is, that's what it is, at least I am trying, really should be the phrase that pays here, for now!
Kind of reminds me of this skit, I think it was on SNL, I think it was Al Franken playing Stuart Smalley, and he was some sort of non-licensed guru, and he would say "Gosh darn it, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me!" while looking into a mirror on a show called Daily Affirmations.  It was hilarious and I sometimes felt like Stuart in my own dysfunctional family.  So thinking about that, makes me laugh, and brings a little reality to my misery and a little lift to my spirit.  Just sometimes you have to find the funny in a situation to carry on.  A break from the madness, so to speak!

My cozy spot.


My AFTER photo!

A little slice of Heaven!


I found a sweet little marble based lamp with a beautiful shade, a small table I had on the porch, and a lovely little foot stool.  I added the firescreen, but I think I may just keep it to the side, folded, but put it up when the dogs are out.  Bunnie Jo likes sticking her nose a little too close to the flames for my comfort.  Not that she burned her nose, but I want her to be safe from her curiosity!

Steady as she goes

The phrase for the week is "Steady as she goes".  Mounds of paper and boxes have found new homes via the shredder and trash can, and other, more important documents have made their way into binders and files.  Office supplies abound and have been corralled into boxes, bins and shelves.  I have reached a small place of nirvana with a small rug, a chair, a cleaned fireplace hearth, a little ambiance to the fireplace, and some well deserved pats on the back!

I have to say, the rewards actually, have been many and the little spots of sunshine, a welcomed break from the tedious sorting, shredding, filing, and tossing.  It helps to keep me on task and focus on how important it is to have order develop out of the chaos!

I am including a few pictures of the highs and lows of my progress so far!

This little cabinet, freshly repaired and ready to hold pens, pencils, markers and other needed office supplies.

Found the knob, and promptly repaired it with my adhesive cement.  Just keeping that in my desk drawer helped to make a number of quick repairs!

One of several bags o files and paper shredded and boxes tossed!

Before shot of the fireplace-not so nice!

Fireplace cleaning.

Cleaned fireplace with "glowing embers" added and the andirons spruced up.  Looking better, no? 

My cozy little fireplace, free of boxes of papers, clutter and a sweet spot to sit and read and warm my feet and let the dogs warm their little hinnys.  The floors need to be redone, but for now, they will have to do, as there is no money in the tight budget to replace them, just yet!

Just a little screen shot of what has happened this week!  It may not seem like much, but the feeling is tremendous.  It feels lighter and airier in my little library/office.  The dust level has come down considerably and I can see the floor.  There is still much to do, but I feel good about my progress and I am not regretting anything I've tossed or gotten rid of.

My focus for the rest of the week, is to continue going through the boxes of paper (yes, there is still some to go through!), to start organizing the office supplies unearthed into an easy to maintain system, to pick a nice lamp for reading (I have many on hand to pick from!), and to start removing some of the larger furniture and perhaps exchanging a few pieces for ones that are more usable for my needs.

What do you think so far?