Its out, then thin the herd, back in.....

Yesterday was a long working day, and there was no energy to clean anything or do anything more than straighten my space.  I have the weekend to make up for my lapse!  So the dreaded task of the binders is on my kill list!  But since my niece and her boyfriend are coming over, I shall wait until the visit is concluded to rip all the stuff out of the cabinet and go through it.  Luckily, earlier in my process, I started assembling the information and documents to go in my binders and even sleeved a few with the plastic pouches from other stuff being trashed!

The thing that I realized is, this is going to be one that will make my now some what ordered office, into chaos and mayhem!  So once I start, I will have to finish!  I have made a check list of items to looks for, assemble and a list of binders that should contain the majority of it!  My hutch is to become the information hub of my office, with info literally, at my finger tips!  So this run of things will hopefully go smoothly and with little stress!

My plan is to not go to bed with a mess on my hands!  Nothing seems to put me off as much as starting with a mess.  I like getting up, making my bed, making some cappuccino, emptying the dishwasher, letting the dogs out and feeding them, making a little gnosh, putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and having a moment at my computer or the fireplace.  Its a habit I am developing and liking very much!  I am slowly getting into this groove.  Starting behind the eight-ball makes me feel over whelmed.  But even if it happens, I try not to stress, just move on through and do SOMETHING!  

So does anyone ever done this before?  Have you ever assembled needed medical, job/work history, documents, etc for needed retrieval?  Anything that made it easier?  Harder?  I have done this before, but not so much for me, as for the foster kids.  It seemed we had so much to do, I was forced to be more organized and to have these systems in place.  I never noticed any of the other foster parents having these, but then, perhaps, they weren't as disorganized as myself!

I may have even gone a little over board, as I had an intake sheet, with what ever information I would get initially, habits, no contacts, contacts, court appearances, runaway, ward of court, etc.  Then I would start to assembled a folder for them.  It contained a calendar for all their appointments which would then be transferred to the ones in the hallway, so we could all be on the same page.  The kids all knew their schedules, my schedule, and the other kids schedules.  My workers said the kids liked knowing upcoming events and when one of us might be stressing a little more or less.  It gave them hope, and it also helped them ramp up for possible draining days.

I used that to also see when one of my kids might need some extra time in my office, just talking, hanging out and I always tried to prep them a bit and ask open ended questions to see where they were at mentally and physically.  It helped them learn how to express them selves, and also that we all needed regular care.  One time one of them asked why my stuff was on the boards, and I used it as a living skills opportunity.

I said, "You know how I am always saying you need to care for yourself first....you know like when you go on a plane and the stewards tell you if the masks drop out, that Mothers need to FIRST put theirs on, before their children!  Do you know why that is?"  no...."Because the Mother is the caretaker of the child!  If she doesn't take care for herself, she is of no use to the child and the child may not survive if the Mother doesn't!  If she puts it on the child first, she may not have enough time to now take care of herself, and the child will not be able to save the Mother, BUT the Mother can save the child if she has put her mask on first!"  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......OHHHHHHHH.....

So this would click with them.  They got it.  We needed to care for ourselves FIRST, so we could be in a better position to care for others!  If we neglect ourselves, then we fall into disrepair, disorder, chaos and risk our safety, health and well being for others in our care.  So in essence, this is really a self care process!  This whole thing of having order in my life, my surroundings and my 'families'.  Its for my benefit as well as others.  I can barely help myself, with so much mess surrounding me, so I must 'help myself' in order to get back to helping others!

So, as I was saying, I needed help with get some things out of here, so I could get to the next steps.  Here it is, in all its glory, before, during and afters for one much needed space!

The worst of the worst!

Have to dig out from the piles!

I see a clear surface!

I had help getting the cedar chest removed and placed where it will do the most good, my guest bedroom!  As you can see, the binders, some from the kids, some from ones I had already started and also some that will need to go!

This took most of my afternoon, just emptying the cedar chest, getting it out of the office and up the stairs, and then moving all the linens upstairs for a major sorting (later of course!).  But now I can see the job ahead of me, is perhaps greater than I first planned.  But that is okay!  There are going to be little hiccups along the way  If you are really careful, you can see my binder for the HTCI (The House That Cleans Itself).  Yes, I even hoard cleaning and organizing books!

To be honest, each one has taught me a little something about getting out from under it, but there has always been that spot of getting through things, once overwhelmed.  What is different this time?  I am not sure anything is really different, I just am not giving up.  Just doing baby steps and when I am writing here, I can look with a less jaded eye at what it really looks like.  When I look at the pictures, I am even more shocked at how much junk there is, how much disorder there is, how much is too much stuff?  It's an awareness of how much I have gotten myself in this pickle, but better than that self loathing, there is also a visual plus of seeing the changes!  This is a big help to me!  It really is, because I can see where I have come from and also how much I am accomplishing.  

Its important to see that, too!  I do tend to try and not see it as I walk through the house, I try and pretend it's all done, or 'one day' syndrome!  And now I can look and see, 'that was last week' 'this is today'.  More baby steps!

So any comments?  Ideas?  Progress of yours?  Have you been down this road too?  I really would love to talk to others either going through this, thinking of doing it, or that have done it already!  I think we can draw from each others strengths and help each other with encouragement when needed!  What do you think?